♥ Tuesday, July 03, 2007 ♥
tis pic is taken in mediacrop..Yup..as i tink many people already know what happen to him..and this is like already...3 days?? ago de thing le..but i don't know why i wanna write bout him here..
but until now..i still cant take this fact..and i believed there's also many of them like me..or maybe worst..haiishx..
after the day..or i should say the moment i pay my respect to him..i feel even 'sadder' than before..I went to outin with some cell group de member straight after that..N363 included of course..although its fun..but i ain't on happy at all..and feel like crying more..but i know that if i did what i feel like..i will affect the whole outin, affect the people there, and even affect the whole enjoyable fun day..
know him about..2 years le bahx..i don't think anybody know it..
Still remember the 1st time when he told me why his name was Ishi.."Ishi was this name I came up with after I left JC. My dialect name is Gek How and it is kind of difficult to remember. Alot of people forgetting my name. I also wanted a Christian name such that it will be easier to remember. Was looking around for a name and I decided upon a Japanese one due to my proficiency in that language. Then finally I decided on Ishi, which means "determination" in Japanese and coincidentally...was almost the same as one of my favourite music DJ, Ken Ishii."
yup..this is what he say to me..is accurate de..plus he told me that he is "Determine-wannabe"..too in MSN..
Because of this..my nick in MSN was/have changed to "hUi yI>>As you sae.."Determination"is wat you are..but now why aren't u determine??"
as i am that kind of person that dunno how to show myself well to others..and to hide all de other feeling..i choose to be a cheerful or either sae...always the laughing 1 in my class..or smiling away and cheer up people but not myself..i like to see others happy..when others happy..i feel happy too..i think tats maybe the reason why bahx..
after this incident..jus hope that he will be happy..even in another world..and i also wanna to be happy as well..bcoz he is my friend..so..as long as my friend is happy..i will feel happy for him or her too..
but many time when i wanted to forget this incident..there is always people talk about it..jus like today..its going to be 1 week since he's dead..i dunno why suddenly my teacher talks about 'suan ming' de thing or taro cards..and all these let me tink of him..as he 'play' about all this..and he talks about all these in his live journal too..
yup..we know each other..but not really very close..but still can sae as close that he told me quite alot of his personal life in MSN..that only we have no time for another gathering..and still remember the last entry he wrote..is regrading his birthday celebration..that he say there's different group wanted to celebrate his b'dae for him..and as i know..he dun celebrate his b'dae de..but now..he cant even survive til his 26th b'dae...!! and when i pay my respect to him..i said to him..why u so selfish..that u bear to see ur family and friends in these kind of situation..that cry til de eyes are kinda popin out??!and even your fans is sitting outside crying like hell!why are you so irresponsible?!
i know that u were very depress in relationship..but bcoz of this..u bear to leave ur parents behind and go 1st?!
but anyway..wat happened is already happened..just hope that u will be happy there..the same Cheerful& love-to-crack-jokes Ishi will remain in our hearts and mind ya..nobody is gonna forget you..and last word..we miss you and love you ya..
gotta stop here..i tink u all know what am i doing nw..typing this entry while tears dropping down or in other word..washin my face with tears..its still the same meaning isn't it?
kk..Rest in Peace bahx..Ishi..
#RaWk oN#
10:45pm
-Me, Myself and hUi yI Stopped singing @ 7/03/2007 08:39:00 PM ♥